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First Person

You Don’t Know Me, but I Lost My Job on Friday

Posted November 17, 2008

It’s hell out there.

It seems as though every big-name company in America is laying people off. Now it looks like Citigroup might cut about 10% of its global workforce, which could add up to about 35,000 jobs (23,000 have already been cut earlier this year). DHL announced plans to eliminate 9,500 jobs in the U.S. (with 7,000 of those cuts hitting one smallish Ohio city alone). Silicon Valley giants such as National Semiconductor and Sun Microsystems have started their own layoffs. And as for auto manufacturers and related industries — well, it’s hard to keep up with all the bad news that keeps coming out of that sector.

Statistics and headlines like these are numbing, aren’t they? If you want to know what it’s really like out there, just listen to LoneStar Gal’s story. An administrative employee, she got laid off a couple of days ago from a company that’s just like a lot of others: too small to make the news reports and, most likely, too weak to make it through the calendar year. Yeah, they treated her like crap. But for a lot of companies, that’s business as usual these days.

The funny thing about Friday was I knew that there was going to be a big meeting about the company’s reorganization efforts. I was the one who scheduled that meeting.

It was supposed to start at 10 a.m. and last for half-an-hour. I actually baked cookies for it — and anyone who knows me knows that I’m not exactly the Suzy Homemaker type. I also picked up some other snacks for the meeting on my way to work. I felt sorry for them all. I knew it was going to be a hard meeting.

But sometime before 9 a.m., my boss called me into his office. He said to me, “You know we’re going through a reorganization.” And he kept looking at me. I said something like, “Are you telling me that I’m losing my job?” I couldn’t believe that was happening. The company has been firing people for months now. But two months ago, he took me into his office and told me that I shouldn’t worry. My job was safe.

When he told me that my job was being cut, he said, “I want to you to know this has nothing to do with you or your performance. Nobody has anything bad to say about you.”

What does that mean, anyhow? I brought up the name of another woman, who works down the hall, and I asked him, “If there’s nothing wrong with me, why do I lose my job and she gets to stay?” Of course, he didn’t any answer to that.

I’ve been with this company on-and-off for about 12 years now. I say on-and-off because they laid me off in 2003. People talk about the subprime mortgage crisis being the cause of everything that’s going on right now, but I don’t believe that’s true. A lot of companies started having problems after 9/11 and those problems never really went away. When I was laid off in ‘03, I was out of work for two years. Job-hunting was my job. But it took two full years, and I got to the point where I was really struggling to make my $1,000 house payment. I was running out of money and ideas. And then I got rehired here.

Now, they’re giving me 12 weeks of severance. In a strange way, I think it may be a blessing in disguise. I think this company isn’t going to make it. It’s in very bad shape. If it goes under, and you’re still working here, you won’t get any severance at all.

But I can’t pretend that this doesn’t hurt. Believe it or not, by the time I was brought into my boss’s office to get the news that I was being laid off, my name had actually hit the “termination list,” which is what goes out to all the different departments and offices. All those people knew before I did. That’s awful.

When I left his office, I went around to all the other admins. As many as I could handle, that is. We cried. We take care of each other. We just cried.

Then my boss came around and he put his hand of my shoulder. He asked me, “Is there anything I can do?” I just looked at him and said, “The only thing you could have done to help me is to let me keep my job.”

I’m scared, of course. This is a terrible time for the economy. I don’t know what jobs are out there. And I’m tired of all this. This is the third time I’ve been laid off from a job in the last 15 years. I’m older now. I’ve got a mortgage I’ve got to pay and I’m on my own. My main thing is this, I don’t want to lose my home. I don’t want to move in with my friends, or my sons, or my mother. I’ve got to hang on to my home.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do next. I’ve given myself the weekend to not think about all this. But, on Monday, I’m going to hit the ground running. I’ve been thinking about maybe trying to be a personal assistant — I could help people take their kids to school, pick up the dry-cleaning, do all the things they don’t have time to do. I’m going to talk to my friends, see if they have any ideas.

I’m a survivor. You’ve got to know that about me. Somehow, I’m going to survive this.

The Whiner wants to know: What’s your response to all this? Have you been hit by a layoff yourself?

Reader Comments

  1. pinkypeddlercircus

    52,000 jobs is a scary number. This story sounds all too familiar. I recently lost my job at a publishing firm and am fighting for my life to stay afloat. All I can say is… stick in there LoneStar Gal. We can get through all this together.

  2. Pat

    This story is heartbreaking. It really kills me to think how many other people are living through their own version of this. Whiner, will you come back to people like LoneStar Gal and Beejay so that we can find out what happens with them. My prayers are with them.

  3. Eric

    I have come across some hard times lately here in New York town. I recently lost my job at an investment firm. I completely hear where you’re coming from LonestarGal. Things will turn for us soon. Things are bound to get better.

  4. Sandy

    LoneStar Gal, I speak from experience here. I lost my job too a few years ago (I gotta admit I’m lucky because I’m still working now). But it was really helpful to me to do some networking with other people who were out of work and job-hunting. Sometimes it got a little depressing, ok that’s true. But it reminded me that I wasn’t alone. It wasn’t my fault. And I wasn’t to blame because I didn’t just snap my fingers and find another job.

  5. Unemployed

    LoneStar Gal there are so many people out there that can identify with your story. I lost my job last week and am trying to gather all the pieces to start looking for another gig. I have gotten through tough times in the past, but I only have enough money to last me a few months. I’m a little nervous as to what to do.

  6. Walter Diebold

    Next time you get a job, skip all those restaurant meals and, instead, pay an extra $100 to $200 a month on your mortgage. That way, you’ll fast reach the point where your house is paid off, and you don’t ever again have to worry about losing your house.

  7. Gooch

    Another sector of the economy that does not get much attention during layoffs is the non-profit sector. Right now charities of every type across the country are finding that their fund-raising numbers are coming in short.

    While anyone who does fundraising (development) will generally have a job, I can guarantee that everyone else always has half an eye on job listings.

  8. Sissy B

    My boss said, “this is really hard for me” as he delivered the bad news. Hard for HIM?! His job is indispensible and he hasn’t looked back.

    He hasn’t the slightest idea what I’ve been through, or even what COBRA for health insurance through his organization costs (way, way too much for an unemployed person), or how it feels to finally find affordable health insurance, but actually be afraid to use it for anything less than an emergency because you know it won’t be the last health insurance you apply for and you want your medical records to be as short and simple as possible so that you can get health insurance in the future.

  9. a mom

    I have heard that the online personal assist gig is a good one, even now. People can use you for a limited time frame, so they don’t need to hire a full timer. And you can get several of these to make a ‘whole’ job. Is this true?
    I wish you well. Gave up on my job hunt and am going to get another master’s in Jan., in special ed. Picked something I like that is hiring…

  10. Jamie

    I’m with you. I’m disabled per the last 8 years…so minimum bucks. My husband lost his job of 18 years, traveled across country to take another job and was “downsized” 9 months later. So….back across the country so at least we can be unemployed at home. This…just…sucks.

    He’s returned to school for yet another degree and we’re living on savings (mostly in equitys), har har. We have 4 master’s and a Ph.D. between us. And no job prospects in our various fields. So….hang in there. You and I are not alone.

  11. Carolyn O'Hara

    I’ve been laid off twice. The first time was in LA in 1992. I was stunned, heartbroken, and frightened. I was too scared to be angry. I was lucky,it was short-lived.
    I learned a lot about myself, though. I learned that
    1. It really ISN’T personal,
    2. Your job ISN’T your family; your family won’t lay you off,
    3. It’s key to harness your emotions to fire you up to move forward. GO, GO, GO
    4. Other people will react to this news the way you do – if you make it a tragedy, they will believe you, and tragic doesn’t inspire helpfulness (hello – don’t be a loser!). Be sure to express the most positive “take” on events, so that every single person you encounter will admire your courage and want to help you get back to work. Plus, it will help your own mood!
    (the second layoff was similar, but without the hurt feelings. It was just business, nothing personal)
    Sorry about the length. Obviously this has made a big impression!

  12. Trish

    My second layoff was one month ago.
    The first was in November 2001: very upsetting, all of the negative emotions – either I’m not worth anything, or the company is crazy…. but I learned that it’s neither, it’s just the way business goes sometimes. I collected severance, unemployment, volunteered for a political campaign, worked at a retail store, then found another office job, making way less money.
    This time, I procrastinated working on my resume for a week or so, but finally did it when I saw a posting on the company website. Miraculously, it was a job perfect for me, and I managed to convince the hiring manager, too, so I start on Dec. 1.
    In the meantime, I had a short talk with an outplacement counselor, and his words about job searching stuck with me: there’s a company out there who has a problem, and you are the solution. Interviews are your way to find out if their problem is one that you can solve. It’s not personal – you need to find out what their problem is, and see if you are the one with the solution. Thinking about it that way made me feel less persecuted.
    Hang in there everyone. Things will get better. We can do this.

  13. Arlene

    Wow! What a great post! We can all feel for you in this economy. Incidentally, it sounds like you’re right about the company…they didn’t use very decent judgment in this matter, so it begs the question: What is their judgment like in anything else?

    As another admin veteran, I can tell you–now that you’re job hunting again (sigh!)–you can often tell abusive, failing companies JUST FROM THE ADMIN ADS THEY PLACE. (I can see all you MBA’s smirking at that one, but it’s true, and it’s been true for decades).

    A large local company (seemingly in a growth industry, and believed to be successful) placed an admin ad recently which included a long list of inflexible demands, very few rewards, and generally gave off a pungent aura of punishment-in-waiting. I hesitated in dismissing it because it was very close to my home, but in the end, didn’t apply. These type of ads generally sound like: Management is very needy and helpless in a modern office, unable even to operate the Mr. Coffee. They have been let down repeatedly by undeserving admins who want weekends off, or parking, or health insurance. Ungrateful wretches!

    You know the punchline–they’re now in Chapter 11. But (here’s the beauty part) the cause of death was “securities fraud” by top management–fraud in which some unlucky admins are no doubt enmeshed.

    If the ad sounds like no one who works there (except the admin, who must be perfection in human form) will ever have any responsibility for anything, don’t help them torture you. Steer clear!

  14. jackie

    Good luck. My husband just lost his job on Friday, too, and though I still have mine, we have one son in college and another who’ll be going soon. Fortunately, our older son’s education is paid for through June, but then what? My husband’s job was high-paying, mine less so. So between our savings and my job, we can probably get through the year even if he doesn’t find anything…and then we’re screwed. Pay our mortgage, or pay our son’s tuition? The answer is clear but not pretty, and I hope and pray that my husband can find another decent job soon!

    In other words, you’re not alone. And I sure hope things get better once we get a new president on board.

  15. backup plan

    It’s hard finding a job, so when I do find one, I would keep looking for a second and a third. I always make sure I have a back plan. When I got let go on Friday, I almost cried, but I was not worried, since I got my second job to hold me up. Even til today, I always made sure to have an emergency money and plenty of jobs waiting for me if the Friday thing ever happens again. As for buying a house we almost made that jump, but what kept us is the thought of not being able to save anymore. So intead of paying a mortgage, we rent. If I lose my job tomorrow, I would have another one the next day.

  16. janice

    backup plan is correct.

    now is the time to enter a field where work is in demand — nursing, the deathcare services, etc. you should research the types of demand where availability will open up and what resources/education you will need to get there, and enter those fields so you have more security. good luck and hang in there!

  17. LoneStar Gal

    Hi, everyone. This is LoneStar Gal. Just wanted to let you know I appreciate all your comments and encouragement. I’m holding on and remain confident there is a new job for me next week. Of course, it will always be next week. Everyone who is in the same boat I am: Hang in there and have faith and confidence something good will come to you, too – next week. Keep the comments coming. Thanks, again. Whiner will keep you posted on the results.

  18. shaman

    last year i was laid off – jut like you, they boss who laid me off promised me my position was safe. even worse, i went into his office and asked – saying i was signing a contract to have my basement finished but would not sign it if there was any doubt abut my job – the sob said no problem. so that next friday i was cut with 2 weeks severance (after 10 years), and there was no way to renege on the contract without losing thousands of dollars. so the the monday after i lost my job i had to sit upstairs and listen to the workers start the basement, wondering how i was going to pay for it all. luckily my time out of work was short – 4 weeks in all. but it was a scary and devestating expereince and i’ll never trust a manager again.

  19. kat

    i know how it feels – was let go july 2007, and STILL looking for a new job. meanwhile, trying to deal with a myriad of ever-changing feelings & emotions: fear, anxiety, frustration, determination, panic, dispair, and an overwhelming lack of hope or enthusiasm.

    (heavy sigh) guess i’ll find out where my breaking point is!