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Time to Retire the Old Retirement Plans

Posted October 21, 2009

We’ve been thinking about retirement lately.

So many people have taken a bath, financially speaking, over the last year or so. That’s a problem all by itself. Meanwhile, we’re nothing but suspect of a stock market that inflates and deflates itself on rejiggered data designed to convince us that things are rosier than they really are. It seems that, whatever happens, lots of us will find a very different sort of retirement economy than we once envisioned.

So what’s a good retirement plan for this new reality, we wonder? With less money to work with, are people adjusting their ideas of what retirement will look like? We are decidedly pleased that we work mainly online, since that will no doubt let us work until we’re 90. No retirement: That’s our latest retirement plan.

And we’ve been contemplating other arrangements as well: Perhaps we need to plan on having or being roommates with our lifelong friends. We could share expenses and hire the help we might need. Of course, there’s the issue that we all become more eccentric with age, so whatever traits we have now that drive our pals crazy would only become more pronounced and so less tolerable. Would we be able to stand each other, or is it possible things could get ugly?

Maybe we could start a tontine for our group of pals. The last geezer left gasping gets it all — but the chances of really being able to appreciate it and use it well are slim. Not too many 90-somethings have the stamina for a season in Paris, do they?

And there are other drawbacks as well. Tontines are illegal in some states, since they apparently tend to spawn deadly hijinks, like those hilariously portrayed in the 1966 movie The Wrong Box,  with an unbelievable cast: John Mills, Michael Caine, Dudley Moore, Peter Sellers,  Ralph Richardson, and Peter Cook.

Fellow Whiner Dick Shaaf spelled out an interesting big-picture idea in his post, “Retire the Old Folks.” And we’ve mulled over some of our earlier considerations for retirement (which included 1. a cardboard box, 2. a cyanide capsule,  or 3. a second career as a bank robber) – but we’re curious to know what you, our Fellow Whiners, are planning or scheming for your golden years. — Kascha Piotrzkowski, Deputy Whiner

The Whiner wants to know: How much do you think, or not think, about your retirement prospects these days? Have your retirement-planning strategies evolved, along with the twists and turns in the economy? Are you hopeful about anything at all?

Reader Comments

  1. jerla

    Retirement? RETIREMENT? Don’t ya gots to have a job to retire from before you can actually retire? No, you don’t. My old man never had a job in his life … he worked for himself ever since he hauled coal in his own truck when he was 13. He retired many times, starting when he was about 40, and kept it up until he was in his 80s. He was still figuring out how to make money when he was in his 90s. He had a plan. He bought, remodeled and sold junker houses. There ya go. I still have hopes of selling a book. And retiring on the proceeds. Or winning Powerball. I entered a contest to be the SAM-e Good Mood Blogger. You can vote for me if you like. You can vote every day! For me! I’m only about 7000 votes behind the leader! Vote for me to be the SAM-e Good Mood Blogger! Ah, come on. Be a pal. http://www.sam-e.com/job/profile/765
    Raise this wretched soul from poverty [for 6 months].
    Thank you. Thank you very much.
    [to EW: I'm sorry.]

  2. Hope

    Great question. My DH retired early, but reentered the work force when some former colleagues came looking for him. He is hanging in there, because neither of us know when/if we will be set free by our employers. Our respective retirement accounts were slashed and burned by this Great Recession, so we’re going to work for the foreseeable future and see how long it lasts.

    Would we like to live on our leftover savings and sit on a beach somewhere? Sure. But it’s not a realistic plan with the amount we have left. Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work we go….

  3. Diane

    I’m actually less worried about retirement than I am about the next decade, which will probably be the most financially challenging for us as our 3 kids (8, 10 and 12) move through school and onto college and both sets of our parents (all in their 70’s at the moment) grow older, during, of course, one of the worst economic times in US history.

    And yes, I do think a lot about retirement-planning in this economy. My investment strategies have changed quite a bit, and will continue to evolve as we navigate through this economess.

  4. amy

    After graduating into the rust-belt early-90s recession — our story was uncannily like the Ohio twins’ story in the Times a week or so ago — I really never expected a retirement. I don’t expect to be old in time for Soc Sec to pay out. My savings are to do with just making things easier when I can no longer work much.

    My main retirement security comes in the form of property in a town I like. I’ll own one property free/clear within a few years, sooner if necessary. And odds are good that I’ll own another before I’m old. So at least I’ll have a place to live, and, assuming all is managed well, some rental income, too, or a property to sell, if necessary. When I can’t manage that anymore…gee, I hope my daughter does well. I can see being grandma in the corner.

  5. Florence

    At 62 (me) and 63(DH), we do think about retirement (but then we drink a cup of strong coffee and try to sober up). We are both still employed. You’ve heard of the working poor, well, we are the working scared. There’s a lot of us working scareds; no pension and 401Ks dependent on what the stock market happens to be doing at the time you plan to retire. We’re both working so that if one of us loses their job (and there was a major scare at my place of employment just last week), at least one of us will have a job and HEALTH INSURANCE. We both know that at our age, if we lose a job, that’s it for our working lives; there’s no one that will hire a 60+ person. I don’t know when or if I will ever feel confident enough to retire.

  6. Kathy G

    I’m only 50 (and DH is 52), so we have quite some time until retirement. I’m optimistic that our investments will bounce back in that time and we’ll be able to have enough money for a simple post-working life.

  7. Bruce Coulson

    No retirement for most people in the future. Those days are gone. Our grandparents and parents got to retire (sort of). Most of us will be working until we become physically incapable, after which they’ll sell off all our possessions and pack us away in a hospice.

  8. abo gato

    Oh, I long to retire. I am dismayed with my job and all I want to do is make things….jewelry and food…..can I open a store where all I sell is baked goods and silver/copper jewelry? Not likely. I wish I could have a patisserie on the corner though….at least I think it would make me happy.

  9. dd

    Florence, I agree with you on the “working scared.” I retired in May and am now back working. DH is also still working, but the work situation is week by week.

  10. Crayon

    I had a subscription with AARP a few years ago and the stories scared me silly then. That was before the Great Recession. Stories of retirees eating Costco samples for lunch, looking for “free” anything to do for recreation, wearing the same raincoat for 3 decades, cutting their med dosages in half, that kind of thing because they were on a fixed income.

    I’d like to save enough cash to have multiple bank accounts maxed to the FDIC insured limits, my house paid off, and laddered CD’s, and a bursting treasuries account because Social Security is about like living on higher end unemployment insurance. I’m motivated to save like never before. And because I’m kind of eccentric no one except long suffering DH and possibly my sister, would room with me and I don’t want to end up in a SRO.

  11. Noelle

    My father-in-law is one of the “working scareds”. He was laid off in the early 2000s recession and they had to sell the family home and rent a house. He finally did get another job, but it does not pay as much as the previous one. They recently bought a small house for themselves. He is 67 and he will likely work til he dies.
    My dad on the other hand was a physician and retired at 65 and went on a round the world tour. The latest economic crisis has him worried and trying to cut back expenses, but it’s not so bad that he has to work again.
    I still thinK me & hubby can retire(we don’t have kids to support).

  12. amy

    Hey, crayon, if you buy a good coat, 3 decades is nothing. I wore my 1988 loden coat this morning in my 1988 volvo. See no reason why they shouldn’t look more or less as they do now in 2018. You wait, it all turns hip again. I do need to stitch up the pockets in the coat, though. I think my incredibly warm down coat’s about that vintage, too.

    Oh, crap. I overshot Gerald Ford completely and wound up at Betty. Oops. But sure, there’s your strategy. When you hit 55, stock up on the indestructible goods. And start making friends with med students.

  13. Daniel

    I’m sure retirement will happen. I’m just not sure when. If my wifey or I get laid off, the retirement happens earlier than planned. If we don’t get laid off, then we save enough to retire when we’re so un-hip we’ll never get another job.

    My plan when finishing Grad school was to work for 5 years and take a year off. I saved for it, but when 5 years came around, I realized I may not be able to get back into the work force with The Gap. So I kept working, and saving, and got married.

    Two incomes are more than enough, but one is too unstable to count on. So we both work until we’re disposed of.

    Daniel
    DINK

  14. Dan

    Retire (flee?) to a third world country-I’ve heard a number of folks are going to Central America.
    Now that’s not a shout-out to “use-and_abuse” people, but if they welcome however few dollars you can bring to their country, so be it.