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Job Creation Brought to You by Swine Flu

Posted October 26, 2009

Ladies and Germs, we know that the swine flu is bad. It’s here, it’s nasty, and we’d better get used to it. And of course we’re worried and we’re reading all about it, a lot of the time — maybe more than we should be.

Yesterday we stumbled across an article announcing a shortage of hand sanitizer. It seems people may be hoarding the stuff. Some retailers may run out. Sales are up by a factor of three.  Which means the factories are running 24/7; they’ve even hired additional workers to try to keep up with demand.

It’s job creation, brought to us by the Swine Flu. A stimulus in microbe’s clothing.

The same goes for face masks. Kimberly-Clark and 3M are burning the midnight oil on their assembly lines, too.  And now that the Swine Flu has been declared a national emergency, it would seem that there will have to be an uptick in employment for healthcare workers to man those emergency tents.

And what about those vaccines? This year there are two kinds, not one, and the Swine Flu vaccine is intended for an entirely different demographic — the young — than the normal flu vaccine. There have got to be some jobs cropping up along the vaccine pipeline.

Doctors will see patients more than usual. Over-the-counter drug sales for fever reducers and such should be climbing.

And that’s not all. There’s even a little something for the shameless. Scam artists are out in force, hawking various potions and whatnots to keep the nasty germs away. Good old American ingenuity loves an opportunity like this. There are pills and potions, and machines and shampoos (???), that claim to fight the flu — the FDA has identified and sent warnings to 140 purveyors so far.

Of course we’re not seriously suggesting that Swine Flu is a good method of job creation. But it’s creating jobs nonetheless, at a time when they’re desperately needed — and we do appreciate the irony: Entities that destroy life, like war or illness, also, in some crazy way, save life by creating jobs. Which put food on the table, while helping us buy homes and health insurance and flu shots. Just doesn’t seem right, somehow. But, what does, these days? — Kascha Piotrzkowski, Deputy Whiner

The Whiner wants to know: Outside of illness and war, do you see any other significant sources of job creation these days? Do you see any long-term benefit from this short-term uptick in swine-flu related economic activity?

Reader Comments

  1. Kate

    SHAMPOOS? You’re kidding me, really? I’ve heard of the others, but…um…what’s the shampoo supposed to do…your hair dosen’t get the flu…

  2. yalda

    In answer to your question, no, I’m not seeing any other significant job creation. Wish to heck I had stock in whoever makes Purell hand sanitizer, though!!!

  3. Hope

    Mostly I see overworked nurses and other health care providers. The ER and the doc’s offices are all on overload with everyone who has any symptoms. And the schools are taking all of their ’snow’ days early to keep the flu at bay. I know it is a serious situation, but I think the media is really overhyping it. And the sheeple are buying it.

  4. Dan

    Perhaps it won’t last long, but getting people to WASH THEIR HANDS is a darn good thing (men in particular are guity)