Posts marked "Well-Being"

Don’t Miss the Best Movie of the Year

Posted October 27, 2009

Whiner-in-Chief, Offspring #2, and The Guru just had a great — underline that, great — night at the movies. And we urge you, we we beg you, to follow in our footsteps. “Where the Wild Things Are” isn’t just an absolutely terrific adaptation of a timeless children’s classic.

It’s the knock-out, no-doubt-about-it, best movie of 2009.

Two irresistible points. We have never, ever, ever seen a movie that did a better job of conveying the exuberant, terrifying, ecstatic, heartbreaking, violent, emotionally-over-the-top experience of just being a little boy. And we’ve likewise never seen a movie that conveyed the uncontrollable highs and lows of emotional life as experienced by any of us, no matter what our age may be.

See this movie. But we must add one more point: Watching it, we were reminded of just how deeply a children’s book can influence our lives. It doesn’t even need to be as visually captivating or beautifully written as Maurice Sendak’s book is. There’s no doubt that Whiner-in-Chief was just as influenced by Nancy Drew mysteries (and Brenda Starr: Star Reporter comic books) as she was by Little Women. Some people don’t even think Little Women is well-written. We don’t care.

The Whiner wants to know: What were the children’s books that influenced you or your family? Why did they matter to you so much? Are there any children’s books that you’ve read as an adult and still been influenced by?

Time For an Adult Time-Out

Posted October 11, 2009

We’ve been thinking about well-being and something that comes up periodically in conversation here at EconoWhiner. We’ve talked before about Finding Moments of Calm, and your comments there and elsewhere on this site make it clear that you, Fellow Whiners, know how to take care of yourselves.

You walk, you meditate, you take sanity-breaks from the news. You gaze out windows, at gardens, or at the horizon. You donate to charities or get involved in your communities. You read, cook, garden, and spend time with your families. Some of you even clean your way to Nirvana.

We’ve been thinking about our own favorite Adult Time-Out days from the distant past — you know, back when our lives were a teensy bit more normal and a great deal less stressful. But still, stress built up and that hamster-on-a-wheel feeling became intolerable. That’s when we knew we needed more than just some moments of calm here and there. We needed one big, fat, entire day devoted to decompression and escape.

For various reasons (caregiving, lack of funds, a love of being at home) getaway vacations have not been a big part of our life in recent years. Which is not to say that we don’t love them or need them, or more specifically, need the detachment that getting more than 50 miles away from home provides.

But we didn’t abandon vacations entirely. Instead of going on a trip, we used to have our very own Adult Time-Outs: an entire day in our pajamas, with no commitments, a comfy bed, and a good book. There were various additions over the years, mainly the company of cats, music, and men, and perhaps some great leftovers to nibble on. But the basic formula was always the same: read, nap, don’t answer the phone; nap, read, but no news. More napping. More reading. Maybe some cold roast chicken and later a bowl of ice cream.

And the result was nearly always the same, too. We emerged the following day calmer, happier, and able to see more clearly. We had more energy and more compassion. No longer spinning our wheels, we had the traction we needed to tend to what needed tending. We had hit the reset button.

We’re trying to reintroduce this very fine sort of day back into our life. We had one recently and it was heavenly, even better than we remembered. (Although we think the sleep-to-reading ratio was skewed just a tad more toward sleep than it used to be.) And we know many of you must have mental-health days or Adult Time-Outs, with your own interesting requirements. We’re wondering, Fellow Whiners, what do you do to decompress ? – Kascha Piotrzkowski, Deputy Whiner

The Whiner wants to know: If you do decompress (at least occasionally) how do you get past that Puritan guilt-trip to which so many of us are so susceptible? It almost seems as though the more we have to worry about, the harder it is to allow ourselves to enter a worry-free zone — what’s the solution?

Soup and More Soup

Posted October 4, 2009

Our craving for fall and winter menus is intensifying. We have been thinking and dreaming about soup, glorious soup.

Of course we love to make our own soup. The making is as big a part of our well-being as is the eating. And soup is very economical, so good for the old budget. Pea soup made with smoked ham hocks was one recent and satisfying dinner, and we love homemade chicken soup with wide egg noodles anytime we need to cozy in and feel completely taken care of.

Campbell’s tomato soup with a grilled-cheese sandwich is a never-spurned throwback to childhood that we still rely on after a busy day. We always make it with milk, never with water, and sometimes we’ll skip the grilled cheese in favor of croutons or crumbled saltines as toppers.

Time For Some TV Talk

Posted September 27, 2009

We didn’t see the Emmy Awards.

That kind of makes sense, because we never watched any of the television shows that actually won awards this year. Apparently, the Emmy’s may never again appear on network television but we don’t have any spare emotions left to worry about that particular brouhaha.

We recently re-read Little Dorrit, so, on general principle, we’re happy that Dickens won big this year. But, since we know ourselves well enough to recognize that we have a hard time committing to mini-series of any variety, we never even gave that a try.

There are occasional TV shows that we like. But we usually catch up with them (like House and In Treatment and the greatest television show of all time — The Wire) on DVD.

Meanwhile we do watch one of the worst television shows in the history of the planet – One Tree Hill – with Offspring #2. But that’s more a matter of putting up with almost anything in the interest of tranquil moments of bonding with your teenager. We also watch reruns of Law and Order because the show has been known to shut down our block to film supposed dead bodies lying on the street (okay, that only happened once, but it was a kick). Plus, there’s something relaxing about watching a show where you know who the bad guy is as soon as you see which guest star you recognize.

Yes, we do like who-done-its. So we thought about watching the new Jason Schwartzman show about the film noir-type detective who’s really a Brooklyn hipster/underemployed writer. Underemployed writers are a subject we can really relate to. And, although she isn’t much of a hipster, at least not anymore, Elderly Parent #2 was born in Brooklyn, so there’s a genetic connection. But Sunday nights are a time when we can’t consistently figure out how to do much of anything. So we just said no.

The Whiner wants to know: What are you watching on television these days? Did you even bother to watch the Emmy’s? Have you found any new shows worth following?

Hospice Care and the End of a Life

Posted September 20, 2009

I recently lost my mother. After a years-long illness, the treatments and her body began to fail her, and so we brought her home to die.

While that loss is still agonizingly fresh, I was deeply moved by our experience with hospice care and I know that it has had a profound effect on my well-being. My father was also in hospice care at the end of his life, and that was a life-changing experience for me.

I think the single most amazing thing that happened in hospice — and it happened with each of my parents — was that all the grind and daily bullshit just fell away from all our lives during this time, and we became singular in purpose, and that purpose was simply to have the best of farewells.

Weekend Rituals

Posted September 13, 2009

We’re jealous of all you whiners who spend at least part of your Sundays doing something that’s every bit as restorative as it is predictable.

The Sunday paper? Church? Weekend brunch with friends? Sounds just great, especially since we spend much of the day shopping, cleaning, doing laundry, paying bills, and maybe, just maybe, if we’ve got enough energy left over, making a big meal for as many family members as want to attend.

Yet although we don’t have a Sunday ritual, we’ve got one (or, we should say, we always had one before the EconoMess hit) for Saturday nights: dinner out (nothing fancy, but definitely: out) and the movies.

This weekend, while we’re still recovering from a post-Labor Day shock about almost everything, we found the time and the financial wherewithal to treat ourselves to a special Saturday night. A terrific foreign movie (”A Woman in Berlin” — based upon a World War II memoir about the survival techniques that women needed to rely upon when the Russian Army helped conquer Germany in the final days of the war). A delicious dinner (salad, skirt steak, some Malbec, and strawberry shortcake for dessert).

Yes, we’ll probably be scrubbing the bathroom by the time you read this on Sunday. This week, we need to find the time to cook dinner for both Sunday and Monday night. But a weekend night like this one can contribute a lot to our well-being for days to come.

The Whiner wants to know: Do you have any weekend rituals that always make you happy? Tell us more (if they don’t cost too much, maybe we’ll try them ourselves). When did you get started with them, and why?

Start the Week with Sunday Brunch

Posted August 30, 2009

We’re trying to recover from our worst weekend habits. Usually these involve working too hard on Saturdays and Sundays (the nearly-unavoidable risk for any person who’s ever been self-employed). Accepting — and then trying to live up to — too many work-related deadlines, while also squeezing in one big grocery-store extravaganza, lots of laundry, and, when we’re really feeling energetic, some bathroom-scrubbing, vacuuming, and bill-paying.

Some weekends, we push ourselves harder than we do during the week. We don’t leave ourselves time for any relaxation at all. Which is really ridiculous (do you wonder why Whiner-in-Chief often entrusts the Sunday “well-being” column to Deputy Whiner???).

In the spirit of turning over a new leaf, however, we offer you a gift: the perfect recipe for a Sunday brunch. A friend of ours baked this for us just a couple of Sundays ago and, we promise, it started the whole week off the right way.

And the Best Movie of the Summer Is…

Posted August 23, 2009

Under normal circumstances, summer movies are fairly essential to our well-being. But this season, with all our scrimping and saving, we haven’t gone very often. (To be honest, there weren’t too many films that were enticing enough to convince us to ante up for the $10.50 tickets, $3 sodas, $4 candy bars, and buckets of popcorn that are usually pricey enough to completely break the bank.)

But we did see a few. The new Harry Potter movie — mediocre. Julie and Julia, or is it Julia and Julie? Whatever. It was funny, but only in the Meryl Street/Julia Child moments. If you haven’t seen it by now, it’s probably only worth catching up with on DVD.

Our personal favorites: In the Loop, which accomplishes a near-miracle by being hilariously funny, as well as insightfully critical, about the run-up to the Iraq War. This is apparently the season of war, since our other favorite was The Hurt Locker, which manages to combine high suspense with a penetrating look at the psyches of people (mainly, one person) responsible for de-activating roadside bombs

The Whiner wants to know: Which movies did you see this summer and which, if any, would you recommend? How does your movie spending compare to life before the EconoMess?

A Plea for Civil Discourse

Posted August 16, 2009

We are in the midst of what should be a great debate on national healthcare, an exchange of ideas that might, at long last, result in some improvement in medical care for our citizens.

Instead, we’ve all seen the screaming, name-calling, and obstruction that’s disrupting town-hall meetings and preventing any discourse at all. It’s horrifying to see the breakneck speed at which we’re approaching a dumbed-down world eerily like the one portrayed in the movie Idiocracy.

We’re all for free speech, but we’re also behind the concept of acting like grown-ups.

Our Current DVD Obsessions (What About Yours?)

Posted August 9, 2009

Maybe it’s because DVDs are so light and thin, taking up so little space in a pile by the television. Or maybe it’s just the whole Netflix mindset. Somehow, they encourage obsessive patterns of behavior in ways that videos never did (at least, not in our household).

The greatest DVD obsession of all time was our year-long immersion in The Wire. Yes, we missed it on television during its brilliant five-year run. But we more than made up for it all those nights when we just couldn’t stop watching episode after episode.

The drug trade. Corrupt, yet complex unions. Screwed-up schools. Even more screwed-up newspapers (no, wait, sorry: nothing could be more screwed-up than those schools). This is every dying city across the U.S. but it’s utterly and completely all about Baltimore. If you’ve missed it, you’re lucky because it’s still out there waiting for you. Borrow it, turn off the computer, and start watching it as soon as you possibly can.

The Wire was so great that we suspect we may never have quite another DVD obsession quite like that one. But we’re trying.